[00:00:10] Speaker A: Welcome to Life Rewritten. I'm your host, Vanessa Lagoa. On this show, we explore life. We talk about different decisions, challenges, and opportunities that shape our lives.
Today, we are joined again. We have the privilege of having Christopher Nudo with us today. Christopher is an accomplished attorney who has been practicing law since 1993, and he really primarily focuses on wills and trusts and family law, things that can help all of us shape our future. So welcome back, Chris. Thank you for being here with us today.
[00:00:45] Speaker B: Thank you, Vanessa.
[00:00:47] Speaker A: So, Chris, I am grateful that you're back on the show, contributing again, because I think that you have so much value to bring to all of our guests. So thank you.
Can you give a little bit of a background into the type of law that you practice, and then we can dive a little bit deeper into how we can all use your expertise to help us shape our futures?
[00:01:14] Speaker B: I would love to.
So the main part of our practice really deals with planning for people to pass their legacy to the next generation.
Technically, it's estate planning. So we use tools such as wills and trusts, powers of attorney, living wills, things like that, those type of documents which really help a person when transitioning, either through incapacity or death, moving their assets to the next generation.
Then our practice really focuses then on the administration of those estates and after people have passed away.
[00:01:57] Speaker A: Excellent. So why do you think that it's such a challenge for people to come to you in the first place? Or why is there this something that people fail to plan in their lives?
[00:02:12] Speaker B: Well, I mean, I got to believe straight up, it's fear.
So the first fear people have is just of outright dying. They. They, you know, many take the approach that if I don't think about it, it may not happen when they know intuitively it will. But, you know, it's like, you know, it's the same reason people don't buy life insurance. They're like, you know, I'm going to jinx my life if I buy life insurance. I'm going to die. Of course, we know that's not true.
So how do we dispel the fear? And that really, I believe, comes in with regard to two facts, factors, one being your faith.
Your faith being a very strong element in how you die and what happens when you die. And the second is really education with regard to estate planning. Understanding why you plan and what the tools are and what the benefits are to your children when you plan correctly. If you can really tackle one or both of those issues and people would not fail to plan right well.
[00:03:19] Speaker A: And we know that what is, what did we say? Planning or failing to plan is planning to fail. And two things are true. We're going to pay taxes and we're going to die. We know these things. And so it seems like you're able to help people with the inevitable. I mean, it. There's no, there's no doubt that we will die at some point. We will have, you know, lives that we've built that we don't want to have people fighting over or, you know, assets that are left behind. We don't want things to end up in probate court and have families have to go through even more of a struggle.
So what when it's overwhelming and when this whole idea of planning especially, I would think for people who are maybe middle aged, who have families, who own homes, maybe businesses, have children, you know, it, it can be overwhelming. So where would you suggest that people begin with this planning if they feel a little bit behind?
[00:04:20] Speaker B: So the first step is education. And you can get educated many different ways.
Let's take the simplest form of education.
That would be read a book or read material online.
We all kind of joke about the fact that Google is in and of the amount of information that's out there, creates its own little school or university of its own. Now, I caution people that of course, not everything written on the Internet is true. So you want to make sure that you are state specific when you're doing your research.
However, just simply reading is what I would say the simplest way of learning about estate planning.
The most specific way to learn is hire a good lawyer. You know, go to their law firm. Most law firms will give away the first hour of time to educate clients on what would be best. The reason I like that approach is because typically a lawyer will tailor their education to your circumstances.
So the first step for people, again, is education.
And whether you get it from a very custom viewpoint of a lawyer, or you take a more broad viewpoint, which is go to the Internet or read a book, both instances are going to help you get past the starting line, right?
[00:05:50] Speaker A: Well, and it's true because when you know something, when you're aware of something, you're able to then kind of say, like, oh, this, this does apply to me. And if, if people are unaware, they can't plan.
So before we get going too far into this conversation, how can our viewers be educated by you? Where is there a place that you offer some educational materials or a website that they can come?
[00:06:16] Speaker B: Absolutely.
[00:06:17] Speaker A: And yes, would that be.
[00:06:18] Speaker B: So first, it's our website, right? Integritylaw.com and I'm sure your viewers will get that information as we continue through this segment.
Further on our website. I did write a book and it's called Estate Planning Without Fear.
Speaking, Vanessa, right to the very topic that you're raising here because I found long time ago that, you know, the people that wouldn't come see me didn't come see me because they were scared and they're not going to admit that they're scared. But if I can design something that is not intimidating and I give it away the so that people can get that education, it's a free download from our website that is a great place also for those people who don't like to read. And we know that that's a chunk of our video centric population.
We have hundreds of videos on our website that deal with the education of estate planning. And so you can sit and watch from our YouTube channel for hours.
[00:07:29] Speaker A: That is incredible that you're offering these free resources for people because it can be overwhelming and it can be a place where you're just not sure where to start.
And I think when people are looking for an attorney to work with because that's your first advice, find a great lawyer. Well, how do we find a great lawyer? Would be our first question. But if you're offering this free information, you're easing the minds of people.
What a great way for them to trust you and to say, hey, this is the kind of guy that I want to work with.
We have spoken before. But for our guests who are who may have missed our first episode, the name of your company is Integrity Law.
[00:08:11] Speaker B: Integrity Law. Got it behind me here.
[00:08:13] Speaker A: I just asked.
I just so much really can't think that there could be any better, better title for a law practice. And you know, know we'll get a little bit deeper into it in the next segment about how you integrate your faith into your business. But can you give us an example of maybe a family coming to you that was struggling with setting up their future planning and how you sort of help them navigate through that challenge just to give our viewers an idea of how your services can work for them as well.
[00:08:50] Speaker B: Absolutely. So here's the the, the couples that come to me that have the greatest amount of questions because quite honestly in their mind the pieces don't quite fit together perfectly is typically in a mixed marriage situation. Think Brady Bunch Showing my age. But anyway, you have a mom coming with three daughters. You have dad coming with three sons. They were originally from separate marriages. Now they're creating a family together.
How is it that they can integrate a cohesive plan to build the relationships in this family together. And I have countless stories of these couples coming to me where we have to sit down and the first step is really to identify what's important.
And because the families are different, it's not really scripted for Hollywood the way the Brady Bunch was.
The two families come with their own set of values and their own history.
And so it's really my role to sit down with the husband and the wife and identify what are their common purposes together other than themselves, of course, they wouldn't have gotten married and then take those common purposes and identify how I will protect the wife's three daughters and how I will protect the father's three sons and have them both walk away knowing that they were both heard and when they pass, their desires will be met.
[00:10:31] Speaker A: And how, I mean, that's so crucial in today's world. When you look at the blended families, I have a blended family myself, so I can see how, you know, it's. That has its own challenges and being able to navigate that, you know, when we're long gone is something that would. Would bring families a lot of ease.
[00:10:51] Speaker B: So, yeah.
[00:10:53] Speaker A: We will be right back. We're going to continue this conversation and when we come back, we're going to talk a little bit about, you know, some of the challenges that families face after a loved one is gone. So stay tuned. We'll be right back.
We'll be right back with more stories.
[00:11:07] Speaker C: Of resilience and renewal. This is Life Rewritten on NOW Media Telev.
[00:11:14] Speaker A: And we're back.
[00:11:15] Speaker C: I'm Vanessa Lagoa and you're watching Life Rewritten on NOW Media Television.
[00:11:22] Speaker A: Welcome back to Life Rewritten. I'm your host, Vanessa Lagoa. If you're loving what you're watching, don't forget to download our
[email protected]. you can watch us 24. 7 live in Spanish and English.
We are back with Christopher Nudo and Chris is talking to us about family planning for, you know, life's challenges when we're gone, maybe even times of medical struggles that families are facing. And Chris is helping us navigate this challenging time that families that are. That's inevitable in families. Welcome back, Chris.
[00:12:05] Speaker B: Thank you.
[00:12:06] Speaker A: So we were talking a little bit about, you know, the planning, the planning ahead for these inevitable things that happen in life.
Can you talk to us a little bit about why do you think people and families are so angry and hostile when a loved one passes?
[00:12:30] Speaker B: Right, right. Oh, so common. So it really comes down to raw emotion. Right. You know, first of all, let's just, you know, elephant in the room.
Brothers and sisters don't necessarily always get along. A couple brothers don't get along, couple sisters mix them up. You know, it, you know, it's just, it's reality. Right. We grow up together, we might be competitive one with one another. We might not like anything we do. Like your sister might play the oboe, which of course I have nothing against. But you know, if you're a football player, you're not understanding your sister or it could be flipped. Right. You know, your sister could be flat playing flag football and you play the oboe. But regardless is you don't identify with one another.
Now children, you know, consciously or unconsciously compete for their parents attention.
And you know, we all have our favorites, like mom will let us get away with this, dad will let us get away with that.
So, you know, this is what we call family dynamics. And so now when mom dies or dad dies or both are gone, all of life's dynamic comes to an immediate halt. And that creates an incredibly emotional time for everyone.
Well, we don't necessarily use our emotions in the most wisest ways. And so it comes out in very hurtful ways as we will attack often the ones we love.
We will create petty arguments or we will want to focus on petty things because really we have unbridled, unfocused, un directed emotions because we've lost that family dynamic that had been in our lives and been kind of our rock up until mom and dad died.
[00:14:35] Speaker A: Right.
Well, and, and if the failing to plan has happened, it's leaving families in, in turmoil and it's, you know, people have an expectation. And expectation, I think is always the root of disappointment. Right. And so if mom and dad have not properly planned how they would like for assets to be, you know, get passed out or I'm losing the word here. But you know, if, if the planning hasn't been done, the anger, the hostility enters, enters the room and the space. So I think it's really important that when you're meeting people and you're discussing future plans that I would imagine you're encouraging these people to have conversations with their families ahead of time to let them know about the division of assets and how, what their plans look like.
[00:15:34] Speaker B: That's an excellent point, Vanessa. And we do, we do a couple seminars a year that are called Train the Trustee. And the whole point of Train the Trustee is to bring in your children who, I mean, we're not talking about bringing in teenagers, although we have it's more really bringing in your adult children and sitting them down and explaining to them a couple things. One, you know, reminding them of the harsh reality that someday mom and dad are going to pass away.
When they pass away.
This is the plan that's been put in place by mom and dad using the family values the way they want it written. Third, what are going to be the expectations of the children?
Who's going to be in charge? Is it going to be all of them together? Is it going to be one of the siblings in charge? And then what does being in charge mean? And this is probably one of the most important things I like to stress. Being in charge is almost a Christ like approach, meaning you're there to serve, not there to lord over somebody.
So when mom and dad put you in charge, they're saying, you know what, Chris? You can now serve your brothers and sisters in the role and capacity that we've blessed you with.
In contrast to so often I see somebody lording over them as if dad crowned him king to take care of the estate, which is like the worst thing in the world. So back to your original question, Vanessa. We train the people, we train the children ahead of time so that when the inevitable comes along, hopefully everybody's prepared for what's next.
[00:17:32] Speaker A: Right. And there are no surprises and there's no tension between family members as to what role each person has to assume.
[00:17:42] Speaker B: Correct.
[00:17:42] Speaker A: I know that my own parents have been very good about their planning. And many years ago, you know, everything was laid out very clearly. You know, my mom is a super planner and printed me out pages of documents just kind of stating some of her wishes, some of the things she would, would like me to take care of, who to be in contact with. And obviously this was done with an attorney, but she was presenting it to me many years ago when it seemed to be something that was. I'm like, mom, what are we doing this for now? You're young, you're healthy. But I think it was essential because as she's getting older, I have her wishes. I know what my role is to be. I know what my brother's role is to be. I know where to find certain, you know, certain funds and who to call to manage those things. And, you know, I'm lucky enough to have both of my parents, but I imagine that when the time does come, what a relief for me, what a relief for the family members, because to have to mourn the loss of a loved one and try to navigate, you know, the difficult things is that's very Overwhelming or that you see that. So do you have.
I know you have a lot of success stories working with families ahead of time who are great planners.
Alternatively, I'm sure that people come to you in these chaotic moments, in this time of total, you know, where they're totally disheveled. So can you sort of compare contrast for us what it looks like when families have planned well and what it looks like when the planning hasn't been done?
[00:19:26] Speaker B: Absolutely, absolutely. So, you know, everybody has this kind of Hollywood vision of things where, you know, mom and dad die and then there's this big boardroom and, you know, the lawyer walks in and there's the reading of the will and next thing you know, you're getting a fat check for, you know, your portion of the estate.
Yeah, that's. That's Hollywood's portrayal of it.
[00:19:54] Speaker A: Yes, I've seen that Hallmark movie over and over again.
[00:19:58] Speaker B: Yes. And so when people fail to plan, the problem is the movie playing in their head is that Hallmark movie. And, and so when reality sets in that there's been no plan and that the probate courts are going to be involved in the estate for the next 18 months and it's going to cost $15,000 in attorneys fees and other expenses and costs and that they won't see their inheritance for almost two years, there is a wake up call and of course there's all kinds of blame shifting. Right.
They're not going to blame mom and dad. They've passed away.
So it must be my sister's fault. It must be, you know, so this is where real anxiety builds.
Contrast that with the couple that did really well, Good, good planning, and not only did good planning, but educated their children as to the roles and expectations. And now mom and dad dies and people aren't stressing over things. They, they just almost start to march in line with the things that have to get done. We need to collect the assets, we need to get them centralized, we need to pay the taxes, we need to reimburse the funeral expenses. And then when all is done, we can disperse the money and everybody's on the same page with the same level of expectation.
And while it doesn't necessarily remove people's anger and fear completely, it certainly makes the administrative process go much more smoothly, which is a benefit for everyone.
[00:21:45] Speaker A: Right. Well, and it, and it's not leaving things unsaid, and it's not leaving things in the hand of probate courts, which, like you said, costs extra money and time.
[00:21:58] Speaker B: That's right.
[00:21:58] Speaker A: So if somebody is struggling with the idea of spending the money up front for this type of planning, what advice would you give them?
[00:22:09] Speaker B: So listen, first of all, we know that there's basically three types of clientele in today's society.
You have your clientele that does is of, we're going to say marginal means. And that is defined differently around the country, right? It's defined different in Los Angeles and New York than it is in Nebraska.
But people of marginal means probably don't necessarily need an estate planning lawyer, but they do need an estate plan. And so I always recommend legal clinics or legal zoom or trust in wills.
While I'm not a big fan of these do it yourself kind of planning, when it's done for people who have very little means and it's done correctly, they follow the instructions appropriately. These are good ways to deal with it. The second segment definitely needs an estate planning lawyer. They're in that middle America. They would consider themselves part of middle class, however you define it.
And they may not want to spend big dollars on a fancy estate plan, but they definitely will need something. And their something should come from a lawyer because they're going to need a lawyer to identify exactly what the minimum would be in their instant to get them the right results.
And then finally, our last class are wealthy is what we'll call them. And again, that's defined differently throughout the United States. But you know, if you've done really well, right, you sit back and you say, I have my millions, because it's going to be in the millions and you need that estate planning lawyer. And you might even need some advanced level of planning. You might want to be putting some asset protection in place for your kids. You're going to want to really consider how that money passes not only to the next generation, but how about the generations that follow that? And you do multi generational planning. So, you know, I would say that, you know, characterize yourself or categorize yourself in one of those three buckets and then act on it and you'll be doing your family a favor.
[00:24:33] Speaker A: That's such excellent advice. And you're clearly an asset to families.
It's amazing the wealth of knowledge that you have to offer. And again, I really love that you share that knowledge on your YouTube channel and on your website just to really help people.
We're going to be going to commercial break, but we're going to continue on that note as Chris has really dedicated such a large portion of his life to his faith and to giving back in his community and clearly to, to families in this country. So Stay tuned. We'll be right back to continue this conversation.
We'll be right back with more stories.
[00:25:13] Speaker C: Of resilience and renewal. This is Life Rewritten on NOW Media Television.
[00:25:20] Speaker A: And we're back.
[00:25:21] Speaker C: I'm Vanessa Lagoa, and you're watching Life Rewritten on NOW Media Television.
[00:25:28] Speaker A: Welcome back to Life Rewritten. So let's continue the conversation a little bit about your faith. Chris. I know that we've talked a little bit about some of the ugly that can come out in, you know, when there's a death in the family, maybe lack of planning, but I really am interested in having our guests, our viewers, get to know you a little bit more on a personal level, you know, and how you sort of came into your faith and how you brought your faith into your business. So what would you like to share with us about Integrity Law?
[00:26:07] Speaker B: Yeah, well, thanks for asking. Again, I appreciate the. The line of questioning. It really, you know, makes me feel good to be able to share with your audience just all that the Lord has blessed me with. And so I'm 58 years old right now. And you'd have to go back to when I was 33.
When I was 33, through a set of circumstances long beyond my control, I was led to church. And through church, I was led to the understanding of how Christ saves us when we embrace him as our Lord and Savior. And so I did that and just kind of following the biblical model.
I grew in my faith through great teachers in my Life.
And in 2006, I was sitting at my desk and I was wrestling with how do I represent to my clients that I want to do the right thing all the time. As a matter of fact, I was this a little funny, but I'm a little vain in the fact that I always had a vanity license plate, and I always wanted the vanity license plate to represent something important to me. And at the time, my license plate said high energy.
And I was like, you know, while I am high energy, that doesn't really represent me anymore. So how do I get in seven characters.
Do the right thing all the time. And through just much pondering, I came up with integrity. Now, integrity in here, it's actually eight letters. You have to drop one of the letters to get it on the license plate. But it still says.
It still says integrity. And integrity. As you know, the word integrity means doing the right thing even when nobody's watching.
And I feel that, you know, God has called us to do that. Right? I mean, God wants us to walk a certain way, act a certain way, think a certain way, treat people with love all the time.
And so that, in my mind, boiled down to integrity. And I said to myself, it's hypocritical to try and apply those Christian values outside of work. And then, you know, excuse me, reverse that. Apply those Christian values, you know, when you're outside of work, but just be this different person when you're at work. So I said no. In 2006, it was all coming together, and my faith in who I am in Christ will be who I am to everybody all the time.
[00:29:02] Speaker A: I mean, I think when. When you.
You evolved as a human being because you really took something that you had so much passion for, your faith, and bringing that into every aspect of your life, even your. Your driving, really helps represent who you are as a personal brand and who you want to be. And, you know, by. By allowing your faith to lead your business, I feel like you are setting yourself apart because you're not. Like you said, you're not separating yourself from that. That's just who you are, and you're proud of that.
And, you know, to be able to practice law, like you say, with faith and love and compassion and empathy is truly something that is. That has to be setting you apart in the industry.
And I think that for people who are doing that planning and it's such an. It can be such an overwhelming process to be able to sit down at a table with you and understand that you're leading from your heart, from your faith. That's going to give people a lot of ease in what could be a kind of difficult, you know, set of circumstances to plan for.
[00:30:24] Speaker B: Yeah, I really believe what you said is true, and I believe that the Lord should be the light within you.
And so I try to not try. I do start every day with the Lord, whether it's in some form of devotion or prayer, and, you know, just want the Lord to know my heart because, you know, I'm the furthest thing from perfect.
I'm filled with my own set of demons and problems, and. But yet, when I sit down with a client, you know, sure, they're welcome to know all my dirty laundry, but in that, I do want the light of Christ to come through me. Not be me, but through me to them, so they know that they're cared for, they're loved, and that what we're doing for them is what they need and what they want, and so they can leave with that peace that they came in seeking.
[00:31:28] Speaker A: Right now, in your free time, I know that you spend some time leading Some men's groups. Can you tell us a little bit about that?
[00:31:40] Speaker B: Absolutely. I love these guys and I could talk about them forever.
So I started leading Christian men well over 20 years ago, and there's no more joy than men coming together in their brokenness and in their flaws. And I will be the first to admit, married for 30 years, but don't understand women, so. But I just. Truth. I'm sorry.
[00:32:10] Speaker A: I like that you're honest about that because many men think that they do.
[00:32:17] Speaker B: I do understand men.
Men are simple creatures.
I do believe that, you know, without women, men would still be in caves with fire and a flat screen tv.
And so I can sit with men. We can share all of our difficulties and our struggles and we can celebrate our victories and we can hold one another accountable and grow together.
And we use the Bible as our foundation for, you know, how we're supposed to live and grow. And like I said, I've been leading men for a very long time and currently have a group of 12 men that, you know, I love to death.
[00:33:03] Speaker A: I find that when you are the leader of a group and when you're the person that people come to, to guide you through, you know, facets of life or just to be a support that oftentimes in guiding others, you're really helping yourself and you're helping a thousand percent. No, it. Right. I, I do find that, you know, it's.
[00:33:28] Speaker B: The teacher always learns more than the pupil.
[00:33:31] Speaker A: Yes, yes. And, and I think that it keeps you, I would imagine for you, keeps you connected to your faith even more because you're striving to be that spiritual leader and that guide. And so, yeah, you, you want to be a better version of yourself in order to be able to help others.
[00:33:53] Speaker B: That's right. And, and, and the reason I like to lead is for that very reason, Vanessa. Otherwise I'd become passive. And in, in that passiveness would create greater reason for failure. And so by holding myself to the higher standard of leading, it helps hold me to the bar that I set for myself.
[00:34:17] Speaker A: Absolutely. And, you know, I find that when people come to me for guidance, for advice and different things, often they say things like, I'm so sorry, I don't want to burden you, or, you know, I hate to be a bother. And my response is usually that me helping you helps me more than you could imagine. And it, and it makes me strive to be able to be that better example for people. And I think that in your doing that, I mean, right now you have 12 men that you're working with those 12 men have families or friends or business partners, they encounter people every day. And so your guidance is, you know, it's, it's that, like, family tree. It's not just helping those 12 people, it's all the people connected to them. And, and I'm a firm believer that when you're a leader and a spiritual leader especially, you're really helping to change the world.
[00:35:19] Speaker B: Hope so. When I do believe that, yeah, I had a teacher, one time friend of mine who said, you know, you're not always going to see the fruit from what you sow, but sometimes just by sowing the seed, the plant will grow and there will be fruit later on. So just never stop sowing the seed.
[00:35:47] Speaker A: Absolutely.
Let's continue this conversation when we come back from our next commercial break because I think that this is where your impact really is shaping future generations, both professional and personal realm. So stay tuned. We'll be right back.
We'll be right back with more stories.
[00:36:09] Speaker C: Of resilience and renewal.
This is Life Rewritten on NOW Media Television.
[00:36:16] Speaker A: And we're back.
[00:36:17] Speaker C: I'm Vanessa Lagoa, and you're watching Life Rewritten on NOW Media Television.
[00:36:25] Speaker A: Welcome back to Life Rewritten. If you're loving what you're watching, don't miss a moment of Life Rewritten or any of your Now Media TV favorite shows.
You can download the free app on Now Media TV and watch us in English and Spanish 24. 7. If you prefer to listen, you can listen to our podcast version, which is always streaming on NOW Media tv.
We're back with Chris, Christopher Nudo from Integrity Law.
And Chris, let's continue the conversation about how you lead from a spiritual sense in your community, in your church, and even in your family. We know that in your business that's how you're leading, but I'm really interested in sharing with our viewers, you know, how you give back in your community.
[00:37:15] Speaker B: Oh, what a great question.
I feel like, Vanessa, you're doing a great job here. The best ways to give back in the community and the ways that I choose to do it.
First of all, I love sponsorships.
I love opportunities. We have the local high schools, the one that I happen to go to, and then it has a partner school, Hersey High School and Prospect High School. Locally here, they have a Christian organization for their students and they have a golf outing and other things. It's called Young Life. And I think it's all over the country, honestly. But this is the Young Life chapter and I love just being a sponsor of that.
So that we are pouring into these young people who are in a secular school environment, in a worldly school environment, but yet they're trying to carry the torch for Christ. And that makes my heart feel good.
I also love donor advised funds and donor advised funds. You can find them all over from Schwab to Fidelity.
But I happen to use an organization called National Christian Foundation.
And donor advised fund is just your way of taking what you can give back to the Lord and donating it to these funds. And then you can direct that money to whoever you want, whether it would be a Samaritan's purse or a tunnel to Towers or even the Anti Cruelty Society. If you're all about dogs, while it's not a. Or animals, I suppose it's not really a Christian organization. But you know, sometimes demonstrating Christ is not about just going hand in hand with other Christian organizations. I love working with the Muslim community. I love working with the lg, lgbtq. I might get that wrong. Community.
The, you know, I love working with all facets of people because at the end of the day, I don't want to judge people for who they are, lest they will judge me for who I am. And I am, like I've said, not a perfect person by any extreme. Lots of flaws. And so I just love paying it forward to just about everyone from those who are extremely successful, who I can just kind of share humble times with them, to those who are having very difficult times and life has dealt them a very hard card, just being there to support them, to. To become alongside them and do what I can, what I've been called to, to be there for them.
[00:40:17] Speaker A: Yeah. And it sounds like you're really doing that in, you know, in your time and in your donations and in, in all different facets. Um, you're really helping people. And I, I think that when people feel like you are living your life with integrity and when people feel like you are leading with intention, they're going to be so much more drawn to working with you in a professional setting as well.
You know, you're talking about working with different religions and people with maybe a different, different backgrounds than you. And I think that's really important because families are made up of all different types of, even, even in certain family, small families, people have different beliefs around their faith, around their, you know, just the way that they want to live their lives. And so when people are working with you, planning for the future, I think that there's this expectation that you can sort of be the voice of reason because you're you're not coming from, you're not take. Even though you're integrating your own faith into your company, you're not, you're not playing the Lord and you're simply trying to lead families, which I think is, is very impactful. It's, it's, you're building trust with people when they see that you're in a community working with people that might not look like you or think like you or act like you.
You know, I think that that is, that's how families are made up now. So you're really kind of embracing everybody.
That's right, yeah.
[00:42:02] Speaker B: You know, one of the things that our natural bents are towards is judging those who are not like us.
You know, guilty is charged. And you know, one of the things that I work very hard at and the Lord gives me great strength with is as soon as somebody, there's somebody around me, whether, whether during work or just out in the world is different than I am and aspounds different values, different beliefs, I really take that to the Lord and I say, lord, help me love this person where they're at. Because my natural bent, the natural Chris comes out and wants to be like, oh, can you believe that person? You know, they're a bit wacky and I have such shame in that when I don't get that under control. Because you know what, they woke up this morning by opening their eyes and rolling over in bed and climbing out of bed, no different than I did.
And it's really taking the time to see the person for who they are, understanding why they are and why they ascribe to who they are the way they are and then loving them the way they are, let's not try and change them, let's try and meet them where they're at. And the more we can do that as a person, as a society, one on one, the more community we can build. And I always love this story.
I have a pretty significant Muslim community of clients and I used to always ask them, why me? I'm like the Jesus guy, you know, I'm the Bible versed guy on the website, you know.
You know, and they would always say the same thing. They will, Chris, because of who you are and the way you are, very open about who you are. We trust you.
[00:44:23] Speaker A: Well, because real and you're relatable and you're, you're speaking your truth and it would be a lot easier for you to.
Well, not easier.
[00:44:35] Speaker B: It would.
[00:44:36] Speaker A: I think it's more common for people to say what they think people want to Hear rather than to lead authentically. And it's a lot easier to live your life when you're authentic because you're not trying to remember things, you know, what should I be saying? And you're putting it out there, and you're not ashamed or embarrassed or fearful of putting out. This is who I am, and this is what's important to me, and this is how I lead.
And I think people are very drawn to people who lead that way, you know, not just saying what you think that they want to hear. And that is why I think people from different backgrounds are drawn to you.
[00:45:19] Speaker B: I think the more we can put down the various masks that we like to wear and please don't, don't take from this, that I don't have my masks. I do. I can put them up when I, you know, my defenses go up. But the more we put them down and just let people see the Lord through us, the more the Lord draws us all together as a community.
[00:45:44] Speaker A: And like you said, we all wake up the very same way every day.
[00:45:48] Speaker B: That's right.
[00:45:50] Speaker A: Ultimately, I mean, in your practice, you. I don't want to say that you're, you're catastrophe or death centered, but ultimately, you're planning for those tragic.
[00:46:01] Speaker B: Centered for sure.
[00:46:03] Speaker A: Right. For the tragedies. And, you know, we all feel the same when tragedy strikes.
[00:46:10] Speaker B: Absolutely.
[00:46:11] Speaker A: It doesn't matter what our backgrounds are. It doesn't matter what our beliefs are or who we love or what color our skin is. We all feel the same.
And in your practice, the way that you're helping people navigate through those feelings, that's what's, that's what they're going to remember. They're going to remember, hey, you know what?
This tragedy happened. Mom, dad, dad, dad died. And instead of, you know, this struggle, this guy came in, he sat us down, he explained this. You know, parents had planned things for us and eased our minds. And nobody's going to remember what you believed, you know, or what you practice. They're just going to see how you led them through a tough time. And that's in your business and in your, in your men's group and in, in your life, in your community.
You know, people remember how you made them feel, not what you said or.
[00:47:05] Speaker B: Absolutely 100%. Vanessa.
[00:47:07] Speaker A: Yeah. And I think that, you know, you and I have spoken before about it.
One of the very first things I've. I taught all of my children was the definition of integrity. I mean, almost immediately, from the time that they could talk, I. I was like, drilling it into Their, into their vocabulary, and while they, at the time they were reciting words, they didn't quite understand them. Now, you know, My youngest is 7, my oldest is going to be 20.
And they live their lives, they make mistakes, just as you and I do. And, and I usually bring it all back to.
What's the definition of integrity?
[00:47:45] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:47:46] Speaker A: Were you acting with integrity? Were you. You know, I've told my children that they should picture me sitting on their shoulder when they go out into the world. And, you know, would you do that?
Would you do or say what you're doing if I was sitting on your shoulder watching? And I think for you, you bring in that sense of would the Lord. What would, what would Jesus do? What would the Lord do? How would, you know, he want you to be living your life? And I, you know, you're bringing that into practice.
[00:48:16] Speaker B: What would you do if your life was being broadcast on the billboard?
[00:48:21] Speaker A: Yes.
Yeah, that's a tough que. That's a, That's a powerful question because like you said, I think we all wear masks and I think that's okay sometimes, you know, but yeah, if we were living authentically all the time.
That's a great question, Chris, because.
Or a good thought really, to put, you know, how would you live your life as you're living it, if it was broadcast and not just broadcast for, you know, short clips that we, that we film and put onto social media, but in, in entirety.
[00:48:57] Speaker B: Yeah. Live streaming on the billboard on the highway. Would you make the decisions you make all the time?
And I think about that a lot as I'm making decisions and still doesn't make it. Still. I still make wrong decisions sometimes. But, you know, I do think we're.
[00:49:15] Speaker A: All going to make. We're all going to make mistakes. We're all going to make poor decisions at times in our lives. And I think that when we. It's the bounce back, it's the comeback after mistake. You know, are you learning from your mistakes? Are you, you know, are you repeating mistakes? Because when you're repeating your mistakes over and over again, that becomes your character and that's, you know, your moral compass might need a little readjusting. But when you, when you are, you know, living almost, almost like living under that microscope, like you're saying, you know, would you be doing, Would you be living as you're living today? And, you know, I, I admire you, your, your ability to take your faith and integrate it into every, you know, part of your life. And I really thank you for spending the time to share how you live and leave with us.
[00:50:11] Speaker B: Thank you.
[00:50:13] Speaker A: Thank you. Thank you for being here on Life Rewritten. And we look forward to seeing you next time. Have a good day.
